Prophecies Can't Make Good Teams
by CallMeFreakFujiko
Summary: I decided to write a story about my experience with the first Final Fantasy game for a class assignment. Join my characters as they save the world. Or at least the first princess, if they can do that. Contains swearing, and blood. Rating changed.
1. Chapter 1

Note: I DON'T OWN ANYTHING BUT THE MAIN CHARACTERS, YUKI, FREAK, AND THE FIRST CHAPTER. My Boyfriend Thought UP MONKEYBUTT AND GARY! FINAL FANTASY IS OWNED BY SQUARE ENIX!!

You are one of the four warriors.

"Who are you?"

The other three are your friends, or relatives. You were chosen for a special fighting skill you, or a relative of yours have, or something.

"Well, I can wield a sword."

You have to gather the other three light warriors…

"What the heck was that?" Zaine, a messy redhead, and Siya, a long hair redhead shot up and said that at the same time.

"Good morning…" Siya smiled sarcastically. "I'm just going to be straight up, did you dream about-"

"Light warriors?"

"Yeah."

"So you're one of them."

"Well that was easy. Two down, two to go."

"Lets go downstairs. Maybe Yuki's one as well."

"I don't really like Yuki, when she found out that we're her mom's original kids."

"She just thought she, and her mom were the only two ancestors of the "first."

"Well, whatever. Lets ask anyway."

Zaine and Siya are siblings. Their parents died in a gang fight. Ever since, they've been going family-to-family as orphans. Their mom was born from the first anthro, but unlike their mother, these two are human. Scientists wanted to keep the only ancestor anthro of the first anthro, alive. They ignored that she had human children, and made a clone from the corpse. That clone had a wolf-monkey kid named Yuki.

"Hey, Yuki?" Zaine asked nervously.

"What is it?"

_Okay, good. She's in a good mood. _"Did you have a weird dream, by any chance?"

"Yeah, I did! I was eating a lamp, and when I woke up, I had half of my pillow in my mouth!"

"Oh, that is strange." Siya commented. _Not her._

"Anyway, we're going to visit all of our friends today after breakfast."

"That's nice." Monkeybutt didn't seem to care.

And they did that, right after breakfast. They went to all of their friend's houses asking if they had a weird dream about some light warrior. They gathered up their friend, Honjo, and after an hour of searching, they found out that one of their other friends, Gary Jr., had the same dream. Am I rushing to quickly? Well, I want to get to the fun part.

"Now what? We trusted our dreams without question, and four of us are gathered now. This is too coincidental though, now that I thought about it. All of us had the same exact dream. I wonder where we go, or what we're suppose to do?" Honjo wondered. As if on cue, the ground seemed to disappear and a dark blue aura filled the air.

An elderly man appeared in front of them suddenly. "Now that all of you are gathered, you must choose your preferred style of fighting. Restore the Orb's power, light warriors. As soon as you enter the portal, all things modern that you have with you will, I guess you can say, teleport into a safe spot."

"What about our parents, and friends? How do we explain this to them?" Gary asked.

"Do not worry about that. Just worry about your destinies, and restore the power of the Orbs." The man disappeared suddenly, and the scene changed to a rocky area, with a blue circle in front of them.

"Is this the portal?" Siya asked.

"Well, it looks like a portal. It looks like a portal from Chrono Trigger. (Author: Square owns that as well, not me.)

"Well, we can never find out unless we go in!" Siya was about to go in, until Zaine stopped her.

"You don't even know if it's safe!"

"Again, we won't until we find out! Besides, that old man said something about a portal, right? And we're suppose to go in it, RIGHT?"

"Well, at least let me go in first."

"No way! I wouldn't let my brother go in first!"

"And I wouldn't let my younger sister go in it, either!"

"That's why we're suppose to force Gary to go in their first, just in case he explodes or something."

"Huh. You have an excellent point there."

"Why me? Why not Honjo?"

"'Cause you're the strongest, of course!" Siya put on her cute, innocent voice. "Are you not?"

"Well, of course I am! Alright, here I go!" Gary ran in the portal.

"Cocky as always." Siya nodded.

"Yep." Honjo agreed.

"Well, it didn't look like he exploded or anything." Zaine ran in after him.

"Let's go!" Siya dragged Honjo around.

"I don't know. Are you sure?"

"Yes, I'm sure!" Siya tried again, but fell on her back trying. "Come on! Where else can we go? We're caved in!"

"Damn that old man!" Honjo cursed.

"Come…" Siya walked behind him. "ON!" She pushed him in, and she walked in after him.

They all screamed, until the blue turned black.


	2. Chapter 2

Note: I DON'T OWN ANYTHING BUT THREE OF THE MAIN CHARACTERS, AND THE FIRST CHAPTER PLOT. MY BOYFRIEND THOUGHT UP GARY! FINAL FANTASY IS OWNED BY SQUARE ENIX!!

Siya- Black Mage

Honjo- Red Mage

Zaine- Fighter

Gary- Fighter

They landed on pavement. "Is everyone okay?" Zaine asked, concern.

"I'm alright." Honjo groaned.

"Same here."

"I'm hot! Why is it so hot?" Siya complained.

"Well, you're wearing a black robe over your face, and you have a hat on." Gary guessed.

"Hey! You can't be a fighter! I'm the fighter!" Zaine yelled at Gary.

"Who says that I can't be? Huh? I can be whatever I choose, so I happened to have chosen a fighter. Big deal."

Suddenly, a group of imps surrounded them. They guessed that they wanted a fight, considering that one of them tried cutting Siya with its small knife. Siya dodged it easily and screamed- "Magic! Appear!" But nothing happened. "Abra Kadabra? Shazam! Woosh!" Still nothing. Siya was so busy yelling, that an imp was able to cut her. "Ow!" She punched the imp multiple times.

The others were doing what Siya was doing- punching the imps to death. Sometimes they would forget which imps were dead and which were alive still. Honjo, being the offspring of a thief, pick-pocketed them after they were sure that the imps were dead. He picked up some gold coins. "Holey crap, gold!"

"Hey, where did all this money come from?" Siya held up a little over three hundred gold coins.

"Holey crap!" Honjo stared in awe.

"We're in a village, lets see if we can find someplace to buy weapons and armor." Zaine suggested.

"It looks like we already have armor." Gary noticed.

"Well, it wouldn't hurt to get stronger armor. This suit looks like hide. Besides, Honjo and Siya would need better armor anyway."

"Well, where would a shop selling weapons and armor be?"

"Well, I see a building that has a sign with a painting of a shield." Siya noticed.

"That must be where we can buy armor." Honjo guessed.

"Thanks for saying the obvious, smart ass." Gary argued.

"Well excuse me, junior!" Gary didn't like that nickname.

"I'll hurt you so badly…!"

"Don't hurt anyone until we get weapons!" Zaine screamed.

"Yeah, you would be the one who would try to stop a fight, little girl." Gary said.

"What was that? Hey wait, where's Siya?" He looked around.

"Hi…" Siya came out of the armor shop. "They only had one thing for me- a pathetic piece of cloth. I'm going to die of dehydration at this rate." She put the cloth over her robe.

"It was pretty expansive for just one piece of cloth, ten coins, so I'm guessing gold is common here. Oh, and actually, it's called "gil" here."

"What do they have for us?"

"Chain-mail. Literally, it's a shirt made of chains for eighty."

"Okay, so three chains and one cloth would be two-fifty. How much do we have?"

"Well, after buying my cloth, three hundred seven."

"Great!"

They all went in together this time, and the employee jumped on the front desk.

"You are the light warriors?"

"Uh, yeah."

"The heavens answered our prayers!"

"You have any idea what he's talking about?" Whispered Honjo.

"No. I'm an atheist. I believe in whatever's in front of me." Zaine quietly answered.

"Can I offer you chain-mail? It's the best armor around for miles!"

"Yes, three of them please."

"Okay, that's two-forty."

"May we get a hero's discount, by chance?" Gary asked rudely.

"No. Pay for it or leave."

"Alright, whatever."

"Okay, that's sixty-seven left. Let's go look for the weapon shop."

"'Found it." Siya was carrying three swords and a knife. "The swords were only ten, and the knife was five gil."

"Okay, great, but, who says that YOU get to be in charge of the money? We should split it!"

She handed them the swords. "How do we split thirty-two four ways?

"Eight gold coins each." Zaine said

"Which will get us nothing." Honjo complained.

"Excuse me, but do you know where we could learn magic?" Siya asked a stranger."

"Quit running off without us!" Zaine yelled.

"Yeah. There's actually a magic shop north from here. Two actually: one for healing, and one for fighting. It's really expensive, though."

"How expensive."

"Well, the cheapest healing spell is about five hundred, where the cheapest fighting is about eight hundred." (Author: I'm just guessing. This is based on the original game. I remember magic = expensive.)

"Which means that we're in for a LOT of fighting. But, why doesn't anything come into the city?"

"How am I supposed to know? I'm just a dancer! Would you like to see?"

"No thanks, we're busy. Thanks for your help!"

And so, they fought Imps, and horses they would call "Madpony's," because they always seem mad and looking for a fight. "Why does horses carry money anyway?" Siya asked. They all worked hard, but alas, they a lot of their earnings on sleeping at an Inn. But eventually, Honjo learned "Heal," a healing magic that heals you slightly. I know, amazing. It took them a week and a half to actually have the money for Honjo and Siya too know how to burn things. How they survive, that, I do not know.


	3. Chapter 3

"That was a good night sleep." Siya yawned and stretched.

"I bet you did a good night sleep. I had to share with three people." Gary complained.

"I had to sleep on the floor!" Honjo complained. "Zaine pushed me off!"

"What did I do?" Zaine raised his head from the pillow.

"Don't pretend you don-" multiple guards marching in the room cut him off.

"G-good morning..."

"We need your help, now!" Suddenly, the guards dragged them to the castle in the northern part of the city.

"So you inspect a bunch of teenagers to get your daughter back?" Gary asked in a snobby tone.

"Yes! You are the light warriors, aren't you?" An old man in a red and white robe and a crown, like the stereotyped king, stood before them.

"I guess. We all had some strange dream, and then an odd vision or something… Maybe this is all just a dream." Zaine talked like he wasn't taking this seriously. He almost wasn't.

"I don't know about a dream, but the heavens must have sent you down here! I've never seen you guys before!"

"Maybe we're foreign."

The king turned to a well-build guard standing next to him. "How do I not know what "foreign" is?"

"I don't know, sir. Maybe they're making the work up."

"Jesus. What world did we get sucked in?" Honjo asked himself.

"A swordsman took my daughter north from here! You must defeat it to get her back!"

"Well, it would be a good way to get some money."

"Who said anything about money?"

Awkward silence, before Honjo spoke up. "Aren't kings supposed to be rich?"

"Usually."

"But you want us to do this for free?"

"Yes."

"And how do you inspect us to agree to do this for free?"

"My, aren't we the greedy ones?"

"If you can find a fighter that will fight for free, let me know. A chance to see that is one in a life time if you're lucky." Honjo turned around to walk away. Zaine grabbed his cape.

"I think we're strong enough to kill this thing. We can get a lot more experience fighting this thing than anything else around here."

"Not interested."

"We can get money by killing monsters on our way over."

"We can just fight monsters around here!"

"I bet whatever this thing is would have a lot of money."

"… Really?"

"We can get at least three beds, I'm sure."

"Maybe four. Depending on how nice the rooms are." The king added.

"Well, what are you waiting for? Let's!" Honjo started marching out of the room.

"That took long enough." Siya comment. Zaine and Gary agreed.

"Wait!" The king shouted.

Gary turned his head. "What?"

"Be careful!"

"Thanks. We'll tr-" Zaine punched Gary slightly. "I mean, we will!"

"We'll get your daughter back safely."

"Let's go already!" Siya said anxiously.

"Du calme, du calme, mon soeur." Zaine said. (Calm down, calm down, my sister)

"No, no "du calme!" Go already!" The king yelled.

"Hey! Why don't you get your dau- hey!" The king ordered some knights to escort them out while Honjo was screaming. He was being carried away literally by the big guard that was next to the king.


	4. Chapter 4

I own Siya, Honjo, and Zaine. My boyfriend owns Gary. Square Enix owns Final Fantasy.

"Getting over here was hell. After two days of beating up all we could, going back to get some sleep, and then repeat until a day later!" Honjo said, freaking out from the anxiety that was building up inside of him.

"Calm down. We're here, aren't we?"

Gary was dragging his sword across the ground, unsheathed.

"By the time we get through this dungeon, your sword will be too dull to cut the grass." Zaine pointed out. "I mean, who knows how long this will take us to get through."

"I'll check this door over here. Maybe there will be stairs or something." Siya opened the rusty, creaking door. There was a guy in armor and a green haired girl who looked like she was on the verge of death. The guy with the armor turned when he heard the door.

"Were you sent here to defeat me? Are you the light warriors?"

"Yes and yes!" Gary said proudly. "Prepare to die!"

"That… Was too quick." Siya removed her hands from her pockets and started chanting.

"Yeah, it was." Honjo did the same thing, chanting in a strange language.

"Don't underestimate him. We don't know how tough-!" The knight charged at Zaine with his sword. Zaine held up his sword in panic to use as a shield. Siya and Honjo burned him at the same time, turning the armor bright red in the heat. Zaine took this chance to stab him between the armor.

Gary removed the knight's helmet quickly and cut the guy's head off. The body fell back and the head rolled on the floor next to Siya and Honjo.

"Uh… Um… Ew." Honjo said. Siya kicked the head gently.

"Well!" Honjo spoke up. "We saved you from the evil knight!" He was talking to the green haired princess.

"Yes, thank you… Um… Can you take me home now?"

"Oh, right." The world went black for a moment.

"How did we get here?" The light warriors looked around in confusion.

"Thank you for saving me. Please, take my mother's lute as an affection of my gratitude. You may need it someday."

"Um, thank you." Zaine grabbed the lute.

"And, we already have guards building a bridge for you so you can get to the next island!" The king yelled.

"Thank you very much, sir!"

There was a pause, before the king talked again. "It should be done now."

"Already? When did they start?"

"About five minutes ago."

Another awkward pause, before Gary spoke up. "Weird world."

"So, where to next?" Siya asked.

"Where ever. The next closest city, I guess." Zaine said.

As they crossed the bridge, a voice came in their heads.

"And so, the light warriors cross the bridge to start their actual adventure and blah. I don't really care. I'm just getting paid for saying all of this."

"What! There's more?" Honjo yelled.

Fin, for now.

Yeah, I had to finish this quickly. I might make a sequel, but like I said, this is for a class.


	5. About the story

Just an articulation I –coughwasforcedtodocough- did for my class.

Square Enix owns Final Fantasy. Mario and Zelda is owned by Nintendo.

I decided to continue with my Final Fantasy fan fiction, (name changed) "Prophecies Can't Make Good Teams." I was inspired to write this shortly after playing the first "Final Fantasy" game downloaded (legally) in my Wii. It's about four of my characters doing the cliché thing that was popular back when the game was first released. (1989-ish) Rescuing a princess! (Stop and think for a minute. Mario, Zelda…) Fortunately, this isn't the whole point of the game. Just a small part, but that was the whole point in my story! The whole story is about the first challenge of the game. I made an excuse to how the characters were chosen to save the other universe in the first place so it would make sense to the reader. It's a parody comedy about what happened to me when I started playing the game. (Yes, I wrote about **my** game play) So it's like a video game journal in a way, only the characters talks and have humorous emotional breakdowns.

I haven't really thought about the message yet. I guess it's, "Screw legends. They don't know what they're talking about." Or "Bring enough money for essentials. No, not the essentials you're talking about." Or maybe, it actually has a positive message- "Anybody can be a hero eventually. Just don't get too stupid. I'm looking at you, Honjo!"

Actually, I wanted to write a story about a character I haven't introduced to the class yet, but I was afraid that it wouldn't be appropriate for School. It wouldn't have direct sex, but there is a lot of crime, (by "crime," I mainly mean stealing) street fights, drugs, alcohol, a lot of gore and blood… And in the end, only two people survive. This character is what I like to call, a "punching bag" character. The worse my life gets, the even worse life the character gets. But again, I was afraid that wouldn't be appropriate for school, so I decided against it and instead, continue my Final Fantasy project. I like to share how I felt playing the game, and what I felt was a lot of humor. This project isn't exactly expressing my self unless you're talking about my type of humor.


End file.
